When You Feel Stuck: How to Turn Problems Into Growth

Read time: 15 minutes

Quick Summary: Stuck on a problem that feels impossible? This post reveals why we should use problems as learning opportunities and how they show you exactly what you need to grow. Learn how obstacles can expose what you need to learn, why avoiding them keeps you trapped, and how to transform resistance into growth using ancient Stoic wisdom that actually works in real life.

Your chest feels tight. You’ve replayed the same thought so many times it’s starting to sound like background noise. You’re staring at the same problem again. The one that’s been sitting there for weeks, maybe months. The one you keep trying to work around, avoid, or wish away.

It’s blocking everything, from your progress to your plans and your peace of mind

And here’s what you tell yourself: “Once I get past this problem, well then I can move forward. and things will get easier. THEN I’ll be on track.”

But what if I told you that problem isn’t in your way?

What if it IS the way?

What if problems are actually learning opportunities designed to show you exactly what you need to develop next?

You’re Not Blocked. You’re Being Shown the Path.

Here’s the brutal truth you’re avoiding: that problem you keep running into isn’t random. It’s not bad luck and its not the universe being cruel.

It’s a diagnostic.

When your car makes a strange noise, that noise isn’t your enemy it’s information. It’s telling you exactly what needs attention. Your recurring problems work the same way and they’re not barriers. They’re feedback systems showing you what you haven’t learned yet.

It’s appearing because it represents the exact gap between who you are now and who you need to become to get where you want to go.

Want to build a business? The problems you’re facing with marketing, sales, operations those aren’t distractions from building your business. They ARE the business. Solving them is literally what “building a business” means.

Want better relationships? The conflicts, the difficult conversations, the moments where you don’t know what to say those aren’t interruptions to having a good relationship. They’re the raw material that deep relationships are built from.

Want to develop a skill? The confusion, the failed attempts, the parts that make no sense those aren’t barriers to mastery. They’re the pathway to it. Maybe you’ve tried journaling or starting a side project and each time promising yourself it’ll be different, only to quit when it gets hard. That frustration? That’s the exact terrain of growth

The obstacle isn’t blocking your way. It’s showing you the next path.

“The obstacle isn’t blocking your way. It’s showing you where your way goes next.”

PAUSE HERE: What problem have you been trying to avoid that might actually be trying to teach you something?

The Pattern You Keep Missing

Every skill you have, every piece of knowledge you’ve gained and every bit of growth you’ve achieved came through encountering problems you didn’t know how to solve.

You learned to walk by falling down repeatedly and you learned to communicate by struggling to express yourself. You learned your job by facing challenges that initially made no sense.

The problem was never the enemy. It was the catalyst.

But somewhere along the way, you started treating problems like roadblocks instead of teachers. You started believing that problems mean you’re on the wrong path, instead of recognizing they’re proof you’re on the right one.

And here’s what keeps you stuck: you keep trying to find a way around your problems instead of through them. But you can’t skip your curriculum. That recurring problem? It’s the exact lesson you need to learn to move forward.

“You can’t skip your curriculum. That recurring problem is the exact lesson you need to learn to move forward.”

What Marcus Aurelius Knew That You’ve Forgotten

Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, wrote in his personal journal Meditations something that sounds like a riddle but is actually the most practical advice you’ll ever get:

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

Translation: The thing that’s blocking you IS the path forward.

Not around it. Not over it. Through it.

This isn’t philosophical poetry. It’s practical reality.

Avoiding the hard conversation only delays intimacy.
Leaving the skill gap open keeps you stuck where you are and letting fear call the shots stops courage from ever forming.

Your growth doesn’t happen apart from the problem – it happens inside it.

“Problems don’t appear to torment you. They appear because they represent the gap between where you are and where you want to be.”

PAUSE AND REFLECT: Think about the last skill you developed. What problems did you have to solve to get there? How many times did you fail before you figured it out? The skill exists BECAUSE of the problems, not despite them.

Why The Same Problems Keep Finding You

Ever notice how certain problems follow you? New job, same conflicts, that new relationship, same communication breakdowns. Brand new project, same chaos.

You think: “Why does this keep happening to me?”

Wrong question.

Right question: “What is this trying to teach me that I haven’t learned yet?”

The pattern isn’t pursuing you. You’re bringing it with you.

That difficult client who won’t respect your boundaries? They’re not the problem. They’re the exam. The problem is that you haven’t learned to set boundaries effectively yet. Fire this client, get a new one same pattern will emerge, because you’re carrying the gap with you.

That project that keeps spiraling out of control? The project isn’t broken. Your approach has a gap. Start a new project, same spiral, because the underlying skill deficit didn’t change.

Problems recur because lessons aren’t learned. Once you see this, everything changes. Problems stop being random bad luck and become precisely targeted feedback: “Here. This. Learn this thing.”

The Lie You’re Telling Yourself

You keep saying: “This problem is blocking me FROM my goal.”

But the truth is: “This problem is showing me the way TO my goal.”

And yes, I know how that sounds like forced optimism, like “just think positive.” But I don’t mean that. I mean that everything can become a reason if you decide to learn from it.

But here’s what I’ve learned from watching this play out in real life:

When Worry Feels Safer Than Action

I watch my mom do this constantly. She over-analyses what did happen, what could happen, and gets completely stuck in the worry trap. She sits at the table, half a cup of coffee gone cold beside her, scrolling through the same headline for the third time. The clock ticks loudly in the silence. Every new worry feels like proof of the old ones. Everything’s bad. Everything’s a threat. She spends so much energy analysing the problems that she never actually tackles them. Years go by and she’s still in the same place, still worried about the same things.

Me? I’ve got rocky roads ahead. I know they’re coming. But I’m not spending my time worrying about them. I’m learning. Taking steps daily to make them easier to navigate when they arrive. Every change is an adventure, no matter how scary. There were nights I stared at my to-do list until my stomach turned not from the work, but from the shame of not starting. I’d close the notebook and pretend tomorrow would fix it. It never did until I stopped running from the discomfort itself

Because here’s the brutal truth: comfort makes us stuck and stagnant. And when we look back years later, we’re still exactly where we were to begin with. Real growth requires stepping into discomfort not because you’re chasing external achievements, but because you’re learning who you actually are.

“Comfort makes us stuck and stagnant. When we look back years later, we’re still exactly where we were to begin with.”

PAUSE AND REFLECT:

Think about a problem you’re facing right now. Are you looking for a way around it, or are you asking what it’s trying to teach you? There’s a massive difference between those two approaches.

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How Problems As Learning Opportunities Actually Work

Problems reveal gaps in your knowledge. They show you precisely what you need to learn next. That’s not a barrier that’s a roadmap.

Problems demand creativity. When the obvious path is blocked, you’re forced to think differently, combine ideas in new ways, innovate. Some of humanity’s greatest breakthroughs came from the pressure of necessity, not the comfort of ease.

Problems build capacity. Each problem you solve doesn’t just give you a solution it expands your confidence. It proves to yourself that you CAN figure things out. Your capacity grows with each challenge you face.

Research on ‘desirable difficulties’ shows something counterintuitive: learners who face intentional struggle remember 30–40% more a week later. The struggle doesn’t slow learning, it cements it. The struggle isn’t a bug in the learning process. It’s the entire point.

Without problems, you’d be stuck in the same patterns forever. They’re not blocking your growth. They’re forcing it.

What you resist persists. What you engage with transforms.

“Each problem you solve doesn’t just give you a solution it expands your confidence. It proves you CAN figure things out.”

How to Actually Use This – In a Grounded Way

I’m not telling you to love your problems or pretend they don’t hurt or slap a gratitude sticker on everything difficult.

I’m telling you to stop seeing them as evidence you’re on the wrong path and start seeing them as information about what needs to change.

First, acknowledge it without the drama. This is a problem. Not a catastrophe and its not proof you’re failing. Not a sign to give up. Just a problem that needs solving.

Second, get curious instead of defensive. What is this problem teaching me? can i learn something from this? Is there a skill i could learn to help me with this? Sometimes stepping back creates the clarity you need to see the lesson.

Third, treat it as information, not identity. The problem is telling you something about reality, about your current approach, about what needs to adjust. Listen to it.

Fourth, take action. Any action. Even small. Even imperfect. The pathway only becomes clear as you walk it. You don’t need to see the whole solution just the next step.

Mr Critic Moment:

“Oh please. ‘The obstacle is the way’? That’s just a fancy excuse for not admitting you’re stuck. Some problems are actual roadblocks. Some things are impossible. Stop pretending otherwise.”

Your inner critic loves this argument because it lets you stay comfortable. It gives you permission to quit before you’ve really tried.

But here’s the reality: most of the problems you’re calling “impossible” are just uncomfortable. There’s a difference.

Not everyone hears their inner critic as a voice. Some feel it as tension, hesitation, or that quiet pull to give up. However it shows up, recognize it for what it is: resistance to growth masquerading as protection.

The Relationship Every Master Has With Problems

Every expert in every field has faced problems that felt insurmountable.

The difference between people who mastered their craft and people who didn’t wasn’t the absence of problems. It was their relationship with problems.

They learned to see problems as invitations, not punishments. As confirmation they were on the right path, not signs they were on the wrong one. As opportunities to become more capable, not evidence of their inadequacy.

They didn’t have some magical ability to avoid obstacles. They developed the skill of moving through them.

And that’s a learnable skill. Not an inborn gift.

I used to see every setback as proof I wasn’t good enough but now I see it as a signpost pointing to what I still need to learn

“The difference between people who mastered their craft and people who didn’t wasn’t the absence of problems – it was their relationship with problems.”

What This Looks Like In Real Life

Sarah kept losing clients after three months. Same pattern every time: enthusiastic start, growing tension, abrupt departure. She thought she had a client-attraction problem nope wrong diagnosis.

What she had was a boundary problem. She kept saying yes to more and more, didn’t charge for additional work and allowed communication at all hours. The clients weren’t the issue. Her inability to set and maintain agreements was the issue.

Once she saw the pattern as curriculum “I need to learn how to set clear boundaries” everything shifted. She stopped firing clients and started managing relationships differently. Same types of clients, completely different outcomes.

The problem didn’t disappear. She grew capable enough to solve it. That’s what happens when you treat problems as learning opportunities instead of roadblocks.

That’s how this actually works.

3 Everyday Mastery Steps You Can Take Today

1. The Problem Reframe Next time you hit a problem, pause before reacting. Write down: “This problem is showing me that I need to develop…” and finish the sentence. That’s not avoiding the problem that’s seeing it clearly.

2. The Curiosity Practice Instead of immediately trying to solve or avoid the problem, spend five minutes just getting curious about it. What might you need to learn? Sometimes the answer appears just from asking better questions.

3. The Action Minimum Pick the smallest possible action you can take toward the problem. Not the perfect action. Not the complete solution. Just one tiny step. The pathway reveals itself as you walk, not before.

These aren’t complicated. But they work because they shift you from resistance to engagement. From “this is blocking me” to “this is teaching me.”

And that shift is everything.

Journaling Prompts:

1. What problem am I currently treating as a roadblock that might actually be a pathway?
2. Is there a skill or knowledge base i could learn to tackle this?
3. What would change if I stopped trying to avoid this problem and started learning from it?

You Have Two Choices Right Now

Choice 1: Close this tab. Go back to seeing your problems as roadblocks. Keep waiting for them to disappear before you can move forward. Watch another month go by wondering why you’re still stuck in the same place.

Choice 2: Pick one problem you’re facing right now. Write down what it’s trying to teach you—then read it aloud. Feel the resistance. That’s the lesson arriving.

Which choice are you making?

The problem isn’t going away. But you can grow into someone who knows how to move through it.

The obstacle isn’t blocking your way. It’s showing you where your way goes next.

Which choice are you making?

Keep Growing With Everyday Mastery

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About Everyday Mastery

Everyday Mastery blends science, mindfulness, and small daily actions to help you build habits that last. If you enjoy these posts and want to support the writing, you can buy me a coffee it keeps the kettle (and the ideas) warm.

Kel is the writer behind Everyday Mastery, where she shares the real, messy, and meaningful process of building habits, resilience, and self-belief from the ground up. Her writing blends ancient philosophy with modern science, always focused on small, practical steps that lead to lasting change.

Kel

Kel is the writer behind Everyday Mastery, where she shares the real, messy, and meaningful process of building habits, resilience, and self-belief from the ground up. Her writing blends ancient philosophy with modern science, always focused on small, practical steps that lead to lasting